All men out there always become confused, as to what to do when their girlfriend gets angry with them. Oh man, why is it so difficult to cheer up a distant girlfriend? Why can a man not understand what does a woman want? The answer is simple.
A man looks at the surface of the problem and immediately starts thinking about what he did wrong and how he will rectify the problem. Instead of focusing on his girlfriends, he starts to think about himself. And in this process of self-assessment, he ignores the plight of his girlfriend. He starts contemplating as to what does his woman would like, which way she would be content, what she is expecting you to do. You only keep throwing arrows in the darkness.
First of all, we will find out when a woman is angry with someone what kind of thoughts come to her mind. Won’t you like to know?
Here are some:
I think he doesn’t love me or he never loved me enough.
He has changed. He is not like he was in the starting of the relationship.
Earlier he used to be after me all the time. Now he doesn’t care about me. He takes me for granted.
I am so stupid to trust him so much.
He did not even come to conciliate/calm down me.
I have no value in his life.
He could have at least said sorry.
It doesn’t even matter for him whether I am in his life or not.
Once I disconnected his call, he did not even call me back (and the woman starts crying).
Let him come now, I will teach him a lesson by not talking to him ever.
I will never forgive him.
While thinking all these she is visualizing the moments :
when you proposed to her, loved her, or gave her a loving & warm hug, or took care of her. (A loving memory)
All those moments when you broke her trust. (a hurtful memory)
When you gave her the credit for any of your achievement to her. (a loving memory)
The way you said sorry to her last time, maybe by holding your ears or giving flowers. (Making her cry more)
Keep on looking at her phone, again and again, thinking that she might have missed your call. (Already missing you and waiting for you)
Here you can see all she is thinking about is what her place in your life is. She only needs your attention and care. Men think in a different way than women. If a man gets angry, he wants to be left alone. He needs some space to collect himself. On the other hand, the woman wants her man’s attention. She needs to be pampered. She needs to be loved.
What you should do, if your girlfriend is upset:
1. Be a good listenerListen calmly as to what she wants to speak. Whether she is shouting at you or she is blaming you for something; just be calm and listen to her. Don’t interrupt or try to talk back. Only listen. Let her throw out all her anger. A woman never likes if a man doesn’t listen to her when she opens up her heart and talks.
2. Don’t start giving solutions and arguingAlways remember your woman needs to release her anger energy, her emotions. That’s why she is speaking, shouting or screaming at you. Avoid argument in such situations. Don’t try to solve the problem immediately between two of you at this heated moment. Let her be calm first. Show her like you are agreeing with her.
3. Keep the mobile phone or any work awayIt can be a tough task not to react when you find something she is saying is wrong. Don’t be involved in other things or activities when your woman is talking to you.
4. Keep looking into her eyesAgain it is the most difficult thing to do to look into your woman’s eyes when she is angry or crying. But do it. Keep eye contact with her. She will calm down faster when she will see that loving and caring look in your eyes. Women are very quick to feel that love.
5. Give her a hugWhenever a girl is angry she needs to feel that loving warm touch. So give her a long deep hug and a light kiss on the forehead. These are very loving gestures to pacify your woman. Whisper in her ears that you are sorry that she is so hurt and you love her the most.
Tell her you didn’t know that your actions will hurt her so much. She might feel to cry or scream when she is angry. Don’t blindly fall for her actions. She does not mean everything that she says. Try to look for the pain in her voice and her eyes. For a woman, screaming is just a way of expressing the pain what she is feeling in her heart.
6. Take her out on a dinner or coffee dateDo offer her favorite food if she hasn’t eaten lately. Some women tend to get angrier if they are hungry. This is what I call a HANGRY girlfriend. And trust me this is one of the worst moments of getting into an argument. Eating is also a way to calm her emotions in a moment. But ask her before doing so. If she denies then request her and tell her that it will make you feel good if she would eat.
Or, if possible, take her to her favorite place. Don’t say much about your feelings on the fight while she is eating. Talk more about the food. For example, how does she like the food? Is it good? And so on. Even if she is not hungry then offer her ice cream or coffee, anything she likes.
7. Have a chit chatHave a light chit-chat with her. Start with how gorgeous she is looking at the moment or that color of her dress is looking very good on her. Take her attention away from the fight to her dress, jewelry, hair, etc. Tell her how amazing she is and how much you love her. How precious she is in your life. How you value her emotions and her concerns. Once again, it’s a gentle reminder as to avoid ‘he fight topic. Only make her realize you love her. That’s it.
8. Don’t give upMany men do this mistake. They give up too soon. Have courage and never give up; keep on doing efforts to please her. If she refuses to talk, even then try to initiate small talk every now and then. Don’t go away if she asked you to do so; stay nearby.
If she is hyper then don’t talk anything. Give some time but make sure to tell her that you are not leaving her in such an emotional condition. A woman never likes when her man doesn’t have that much courage to be with her or face her when she is emotionally overwhelmed.
If you leave her side she will be more hurt. If you stay there she might scream at you and force you to leave but somewhere inside her she wouldn’t want to be left alone. She will appreciate this behavior later.
9. Do apologize to herWhether you feel that you are not wrong at your place, but even then do apologize because from your perspective you might not be wrong but from her perspective, you have hurt her. Keep your anger at bay and realize her emotions.
Women are like waves. They reach the peak of her emotion exponentially but they also calm down soon. Their anger is momentary. So it’s not very difficult to pacify her. In such a situation, your response should be to be with her, calm her down and make her feel special. Don’t try to understand her, only love her. She doesn’t need to be understood, she desires your love.
Love and affection are the things that keep a woman happy. Make her laugh on petty matters. Always praise her, adore her beauty, appreciate her intelligence. Appreciate her for everything that she does for you. A woman never gets tired of hearing admiration. Give her compliments every now and then.
Men and women speak in different ways and have a different perspective to see things but they have to live together so they must learn each other’s perspective to live a happy life and to have a healthy relationship. Love your partner unconditionally. Apologizing in such disputes won’t hurt you, but help you bond together.
I hope this article can help you guys to decide what should you do. Remember whatever you do, just keep one thought in your mind that “Do you really want this woman in your life?” If your answer is yes then do anything to placate her and make her happy. Do not give up on her.
Kindly share your experiences here. So that others can get help too. You can reach me at [email protected]