Have you ever realized after a fight with anyone that how that fight could be avoided? Or how that fight actually started? Yes, it seems difficult to find the reason behind such bitter experiences. Although we happen to blame our temper or other’s lose temperament for any sort of fight.
We never reach the truth. The truth is that words have the power to resolve the biggest issues and start a war in the world.
We don’t realize that words are powerful because every word generates a certain kind of emotional energy in us. Words can be as powerful as weapons and as relaxing as medicine or love. They can break or preserve someone.
Words can take you to far places in your imagination by stimulating certain emotions and can give you experience as close to reality. This is what a writer does. He/she uses the words to connect with you. You can feel people, places, and situations just by using the correct words.
Usually, we happen to use the wrong words at the wrong time in front of the wrong people. We have the habit to exaggerate any situation or emotion. We use strong words to describe anything.
It’s the same when you are doing self-talk. If somehow you learn to use the right words in the right context, then there will be no fight at all. Life will become easy. Relationships will become sweeter. In short, you will be more relaxed and happy.
I will explain how you generally use destructive words and how can you replace such words.
1. “Negative”Negative is a strong word. When you say this word you think about all the wrong things that have happened in your life like anger, frustration, failure, etc. You become a negative person with negative energy for that moment. As a result, you spread negativity around you.
Replacing this word
Think of any sentence and practice to use a better, lighter word.
“Why are you being so negative?” can be replaced by “Don’t be so overwhelmed with the situation” or “Why are you being so concerned about the situation? Everything will be fine.” Or “Why are you assuming or imagining the worst?”
2. “Fail”This word makes you feel incompetent. And it subconsciously imparts a notion to you that you are NOT CAPABLE of doing the given task/activity.
Fail can be replaced by “The outcome was not as expected.”
Because the fact is that you never fail, you just don’t get the result that you desire.
Failure can be a great teacher. But when you use this word in an unsuccessful situation, you are stressed out. You become more focused on what went wrong. You feel unable to let it go. You stick to the word ‘failure’. You think of all the moments when you couldn’t achieve the desired results. Failures are part and parcel of the learning experience. For example, As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked, “How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?” Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”
If you tell anyone that he failed, then you seem like an enemy to that person. Then disagreements, frustration, bitterness happen. Therefore, try to avoid such a harsh word.
3. “Hate”These days, this word is being used substantially. Like I hate this food or drink or person or place. People don’t realize that this word generates detrimental energy. You can’t expect any good outcome from such energy. It will destroy you and the people around you.
Hate can be replaced with ‘dislike’ or ‘tasteless’ or ‘disrelish’ or ‘not according to my taste or liking’
4. “Always”You may be thinking why this word is not right. It’s right but when you use it in the wrong situation, it can arise powerful adverse emotions.
Like when you are in a fight with someone or you are angry at someone. You tend to blame others for doing the same thing ‘ALWAYS’. When you use this word in such a situation you exaggerate your emotions and point out how others are always wrong or doing wrong things. The reality can be that others may be doing it 10 times out of 100. But just because of your outburst you use this simple word so strongly in a destructive manner that you hurt people around you. Try not to use ‘Always’ words when you are angry. Practice it.
You can replace this word with sometimes or many times, usually.
5. “Accuse”This word should be used carefully. When talking to your loved ones don’t use this word as it can create a fear of being wrongly judged or misunderstood and hurt others.
Like – “You accused me of something I have never done.” Replace it with “You held me responsible for something I have never done.”
6. “Stressed”This word is commonly used for every situation where someone is nervous about anything. Stress is the number one in today’s lifestyle disease. One should not use this serious word in lighter contexts
Like “I am stressed out whether I will get this job or not” Replace it with “I am concerned about whether I will get this job or not”
7. “Worried”Yeah! I know it seems to be a simple word. But try speaking it how does it make you feel? It makes you worried unnecessarily. This word gives your imagination wings as something wrong is definitely going to happen.
For eg., “I am worried that how will I tackle this situation.” You can replace it with ‘Concerned’ You are usually concerned about each and every small or big situation in your life. You feel concerned, not worried.
8. “Rude”When someone doesn’t behave in a pleasant way, you call him/her rude. This word distant you from that person forever. That’s why this word should be avoided while describing someone.
This word can be replaced by ‘Cold’.
Now make a list of words that makes you angry, sad, or pessimistic. Replace them with lighter words. Practice it in everyday life. Sooner this will become your habit and you will create positivity within you and around you. This will make your life happier, joyful and easy. Your emotional issues will be resolved. You won’t have to suppress your emotions. You can let them come out but in a positive manner without hurting others.
Learn to use constructive words and make your life and relationships as you want it to be.