Have you ever wondered as to why even after putting so many efforts you fail to succeed?
Because of lies, you keep on telling yourself. Lies, which you believe to be the truth, where actually they are not. Lies, what people keep feeding to your mind.
All those stories in your brain are almost 50% lie. Those recollected incidents either never happened or happened in quite a different manner. Half of your truths are in fact lies. If you really want to be successful, stop telling these below lies to yourself.
1. “You will be successful at any particular task for sure”
You think you did everything right to achieve something, yet failed due to some uncontrollable reasons.” Where in deep down of your heart you believe it can’t be done because you haven’t tried hard enough; because you failed to put enough efforts; you failed to evaluate the reality of your efforts. You make yourself believe “I did whatever I could do.”
But the fact is that deep down inside, you know that you didn’t give your full effort as you could. You became lazy or exhausted yourself with overthinking or got obsessed about the results. While you were busy thinking about the result, questioning yourself whether you will be successful or not, you compromised on your performance.
Still, want yourself to believe that you did your best? The truth is that you lost track somewhere, you got distracted with the questions in your mind. You wasted your precious time on thinking pointless possibilities. This lie will prevent you from learning from your failure and put you up for another failure.
2. “Believing everything that others say to you”
People also play a major role in your life. They tell you what they believe is the truth, which is not necessarily always true. It all depends upon the perception. Someone’s ugly can be someone’s beautiful. Someone’s junk can be someone’s most precious collector’s item. If someone says something is impossible doesn’t mean that you can’t make it possible.
It seems easy to believe what someone says and painstaking to check for authenticity. Don’t put blind faith in others. Make efforts to find out the truth for yourself. Use your own senses to understand something. Every record can be broken. Impossible can be made possible. Don’t let others opinion overpower you.
3. “You know everything”
Think twice. Is it really true? This attitude will destroy your potential to learn anything new. No matter how much you have read or studied, something will always be left. Keep your mind open to accept the very truth that you can’t know each and everything.
Always keep a learner’s attitude. Be like an empty sponge, be ready to absorb anything new. When you keep learning, you keep growing. The sky is the limit for you. However, when you stop learning, your growth stops.
4. “You know what you are doing”
You may be wise enough to realize what you are doing, yet there is no harm in taking note of other people’s experience who has done something similar in their lives without being judgmental. Experienced people can help you to make a mind map, which can be crucial for your success.
You can prepare to handle something new lying on your path. You may come to know something, which you have never known earlier. Our experiences teach us a new perspective on a problem. A problem can be solved in ‘n’ number of ways.
You might know one method for solving the problem. But an experienced person might know a couple of other methods and some of them might be a better solution to your problem.
5. “Your thoughts belong to you”
It may not be true. You perceive things from your environment during childhood that develops your personality. That personality may not be you. You may be something different but your surroundings make you believe that you’re what you have become.
Discover your true self without being biased.Do meditation practice (Read article “Meditation for beginners” to start). Find out about your likes, dislikes, your fears, and emotions; from where they developed.
Focus more on the true version of yourself. Self-introspection can be indispensable to explore more about yourself.
6. “Someone will hold you, guide you and protect you”
It’s a lie. If you want to achieve something you have to have that strength to move ahead no matter how many barriers you will meet on your way. You have to hold yourself tight and high. You have to find your own path. You have to protect yourself.
It may be possible when you’re looking for someone to save you, while that someone else is looking at you with the same expectation. You have to take your own responsibility. You have to live on your own. You may have people in your life who love you, support you, but you have to act on your own.
Actions and decisions will have to be taken by you; you have to make difficult choices. No one else can do your part.
7. “You know who you are and what you are”
The truth is that you know about yourself what others have told you since your childhood. You perceive yourself with other people’s eyes and opinions. Sometimes, you even mold other’s opinions according to your convenience. Yet you think you know yourself.
If someone tells you that you are brilliant or fool you happen to think that you are. If someone says you’re beautiful or ugly, you believe those words and think that’s what you’re. You believe those labels given by people whereas you know nothing about yourself. You get lost in what others say about you and start creating your own image in your mind accordingly.
If you are brilliant and you know it then you don’t need people’s approval. Stop boosting your ego with what others have to say about you. You may lose your focus from your efforts to your skills or qualities. Always remember your qualities are useless if you don’t perform well or you don’t use them properly when it’s needed.
If someone tells you that you are not intelligent or skillful or many other things that you’re not, don’t just pay heed to what they say. Find out your best qualities, sharpen them and move forward in life. Don’t let others tell you what you are.
8. “You know what you want in life”
You watch a movie of an athlete who wins against all odds and all of a sudden you want to become an athlete. You watch someone doing something which inspires you to become something. Because you happen to believe that those achievements made someone happy, eventually these will make you happy too. You think you want that but the truth is that your surroundings make you believe that that’s your dream. It’s not you who decide what you want.
If you want to know what actually you want then explore your childhood again. What was that one thing you wanted to do in your life when you were a child when your views were unaffected from others? What was it that you were best at? Undo whatever you have learnt and seen around you that affected your opinions and decisions.
Then you will discover some truth about yourself, your true desires, your qualities. Don’t let others achievements affect your decision while you choose what you want to achieve.
9. “If you will get something particular, you will be happy”
Happiness has nothing to do with materialistic. It’s inside you. You must have a happy attitude. That’s it. Everything will seem easy then. Stop feeding this lie, that “if you find your dream man or girl, you will be happy or if you will have plenty of money then you will be happy.”
If you don’t appreciate what you have right now then there’s some problem with your attitude. The art of gratitude is necessary for the law of attraction. Be grateful for your present, be happy with what you have at this moment. Happiness is internal, not external.
Don’t be dependent on outside outcomes for your happiness. Happiness resides inside you, it’s up to you whether you choose to be happy or not. You have the power to choose.
10. “Your failure was someone else’s fault”
This is a blunder everyone does. This attitude keeps you away from your dreams. You blame others and don’t work on your weaknesses. You focus on others rather than yourself.
Take responsibility for your actions. Accept the failure as yours like you accept your achievements. YOU failed at something. You must have done something wrong or forgot to take measures to succeed.
Failures are not failures, but lessons. Try to learn from your failures and move ahead in life.
These are some small lies, which unfortunately you’re telling yourself every day. These lies may blind your vision to see the truth. Be truthful with yourself. There won’t be anything which you can’t achieve. While that chatter is happening in your brain where you’re trying to justify your actions, you’re feeding your subconscious with all sorts of lies.
These lies affect your decisions adversely and deprive you of success. Sooner you understand this, the better it will be for you. If you think there’s something more to your life then meditate and find out what are those lies you keep on telling yourself.
Do share with me if you think I have left anything here.